


The Ultimate Sacrifice

by Luinlothana



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Episode: s04e05 Expire Erect, F/M, Hostage Situations, Tragedy, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:28:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25922095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luinlothana/pseuds/Luinlothana
Summary: As a police officer, Chloe knew a part of her job meant she could never be sure if she'd return home at the end of the day. The limited choices she faced with Lucifer injured during the hostage situation in Lux forced her to face that reality.
Relationships: Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar
Comments: 14
Kudos: 155





	The Ultimate Sacrifice

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Any intellectual property attached to the story below belongs to parties other than the humble author of the story in question. Which might be rather obvious when one considers the etymology of the word fanfiction. No profit is being derived from the following work and the purposes for its creation are purely recreational. 
> 
> A/N: This little story spun into existence inspired by Ella's quip "What do you need her to do? Take a bullet for you?" in Ep.5 S. 4. 
> 
> Many thanks to my beta silver-doe287 for her kind words and helping me with this story.

The Ultimate Sacrifice

_'To Protect and to Serve'_

She saw the words of the LAPD motto every day as she was coming to work. But perhaps it was the human nature not to dwell on the implied price of the above.

It wasn't something one thought about every day; it would be impossible to do so without losing one's mind. But the awareness always remained there, somewhere in the back of the head. As a police officer, Chloe knew that there might come the day when she would have to make the choice between her own life and the safety of others. She _hoped_ it would not come to that, of course - after all, over the years there were definitely more times that she chipped in for a retirement gift than those when she attended the End of Watch Calls. But sometimes, you needed luck as well as statistics to be on your side.

Eve's words were ringing in Chloe's head as she made another sweep of the room, trying to find some solution to their current situation.

_From what Lucifer's told me, you are the smartest, most capable, most resourceful person he's ever known._

She had nothing. Lucifer was hurt and incapable of doing anything. At the rate things were going, he'd likely bleed to death before any outside help would get here. Depending on the power of the bomb, there was a real risk of every person present being torn to pieces or buried under the collapsing building and, despite Lucifer's apparent faith in her abilities, she couldn't think of anything.

To make things worse, she was painfully aware that it would have never come to that, had she not been here. After all, she was the one that made Lucifer vulnerable. If it hadn't been for her, he would have diffused the situation in ten seconds flat, both figuratively and literally.

If it hadn't been for her.

She felt her stomach twist in cold realisation as the only possible solution suddenly presented itself. She swallowed, quickly wiping away a tear that ran down her cheek before adrenaline provided some blissful numbness.

At least with some luck it would be quick.

III

"He keeps glancing upstairs. I think that's where he hid the bomb."

Lucifer looked up to see Chloe sneaking closer to him again. He had to actively focus now to understand what she was saying and hoped this wasn't too visible. He all but tuned out most of what Ella was saying without the girl noticing, but because the detective's perception wasn't clouded by any substances she was more likely to realise if she didn't have his attention. He forced himself to smile.

"Excellent. I suppose all we need now is an opportunity for Miss Lopez to get over there and do her magic."

Chloe nodded before kneeling next to him, looking him carefully in the eye.

"Lucifer- I just want you to know..." She broke off for a second, swallowing visibly. It wasn't very obvious with the lighting of the club, but her eyes were a bit swollen. She took a deep breath, apparently determined to say her part. "I just want you to know, I get it now. And I love you. I just want you to remember that, okay?"

Apparently he wasn't doing as good a job downplaying his injury as he suspected. "As lovely as the sentiment is, Detective, I'm not sure this is a proper setting for such discussion."

She was already shaking her head. "Just remember that I love you, alright?" With those words she leaned forward and kissed him softly on the lips. "Now, it's going to be fine. Eve, promise me you'll help Lucifer, okay? I think I have a plan."

The brunette grinned in response. "Sure! I knew you'd think of something, just like Lucifer said."

"Yeah. Something."

It could be just him, but Chloe didn't seem to return the smile. This wasn't quite the usual fierce determination she would radiate when she knew how to proceed. Before he could say anything about it, he felt her squeeze his hand and get up, striding to the assailant.

For a moment he felt as if time stretched, figuratively slowing down as the events played out. Struggling with the fog covering his mind brought about by blood loss, for a moment Lucifer couldn't understand what the detective hoped to achieve. She had startled Marco by confronting him. Then his confusion turned into horror as he heard shots fired once again. Several shots.

He had a feeling he might have cried out something in shock as her body hit the floor. He tried to move, but was held back by the pain from his own wound, that barely a second later started evaporating rapidly.

"Detective!" he heard the gasp escaping his lips as he struggled to get up.

Heedless of the need to keep up any appearances, he got to his feet with surprising ease. The meaning behind it tore his heart to pieces. He got to her body in just a few strides. Her soul was no longer there, lost to him forever in a blink of an eye.

Lost to him, because this foolish, pathetic, simple-minded human decided to bring violence to Lucifer's own home.

When he looked up, it didn't take the sudden horror on the gunman's face for Lucifer to realise his eyes must be burning with hellfire. The man was frozen in spot where he stood, making it only easier to grab him now. Lucifer almost wished he would try to put up a fight instead of standing petrified before him. Knocking the gun and the detonation trigger from his hand brought little to no gratification despite the excessive force used.

The man was begging now, as if he thought he could do anything to make up for his deed.

"Please, I was just afraid Leona would kill me. I wanted you to find her-" the man was cut off as he was pushed onto the nearest wall, held above the floor by Lucifer's grip.

There was a noise behind them from the clubbers observing the scene.

"Get out!" Lucifer managed to bark out at them, briefly noting that Ella Lopez apparently didn't follow the crowd and was attempting CPR on Chloe, not realising how futile the task was at this point. Still, it wasn't like she would be needed to disarm a bomb anymore.

Then again, this building, Lux, was the detective's gift to him. She fought to ensure that he kept it, and this was the only thing he had now left of her. He couldn't have anything posing a risk to it, even if it was a risk posed by a clumsy police bomb specialist. He looked back to the man he was holding, who was now pale as chalk, if slightly bluish due to restricted oxygen access.

"You are going to disarm your bomb," he informed him, dragging the man upstairs.

III

The next several minutes passed in a blur. As soon as the clubbers left, the place was crowded again with the police, who were apparently startled by the sight of the assailant rocking himself back and forth, next to his disarmed bomb, uttering pleas of mercy and rambling explanations of every crime he ever committed.

Tempted as he was to tear the man's heart out, he handed him over to the officers. The detective would have wanted him to do that. It wasn't like he wouldn't get him eventually. He even told the man as much himself, even if it wasn't nearly as satisfying as he hoped it would be.

As soon as he relinquished the attacker, he found he was suddenly devoid of any purpose. The overwhelming feeling of loss was threatening to consume him, and he sunk to his knees on the floor still stained with her blood. He was vaguely aware of people still milling around, but at the moment the world could just as well cease to exist for all the difference it would make to him. Nobody tried to approach him. The same power that normally made people open up to him with such ease was now keeping them away, as if they subconsciously understood that disturbing him could be the last thing they did.

_She was gone. She was irrevocably gone to the Silver City, forever separated from him._

He didn't know how long he was kneeling there. It felt as if the eternity without her presence was already stretching before him, making the passage of time meaningless.

"Lucifer..."

His eyes snapped up, grief mixing with anger.

"Mazikeen," He spat venomously to the newcomer. "Where the bloody hell were you when you were needed?"

"Finding the wife. With Dan. You know, speeding up the process."

"Fat load of good that did."

"What happened here?"

He looked at the demon incredulously. "You don't know?"

"All I know is that by the time we got here with Leona, they told us the hostage situation was resolved and Decker was taken to the hospital. That's where Dan went while I came in to see you."

He couldn't help a mirthless laugh.

"You needn't have bothered checking on me. It's not like there is anything that could hurt me. Not anymore."

"Lucifer?"

"She's gone, Maze. I felt the moment she left when that cretin shot her."

"Damn." The demon crossed the distance to the bar, filling two glasses to the brim and returned, handing him one of them. He took it reflexively, drinking a third of it in one go.

After a moment of silence Maze spoke again. "The way they told us, it sounded like she was simply wounded."

"Apparently the LA finest can't be _quite_ that trusted to get all their facts straight. Speaking of - Maze, I want names. Everyone that in any way contributed to _this._ If they as much as wished him luck at some point, I want to know. _For future reference_."

A gleeful ruthlessness appeared on her face.

"Consider it done. Anything else?"

"Just tell everyone to leave me alone," he finished the glass, cracking it in his palm and discarding it to the side before standing up and heading to the elevator.

Neither the demon nor the few officers still working on the scene dared to voice any protests.

III

"Luci-"

He didn't even need to look up from his half-empty bar to know who it was.

"I thought I made it quite clear that I didn't want to see anyone."

Amenadiel simply ignored the rebuke and approached the bar.

"Maze told us what happened," he informed quietly, apparently trying to gauge Lucifer's reaction.

"Marvellous, then I'm sure you know I wanted to be left alone. Or did you come to see the results of Dad's oh-so-brilliant plan? After all, why simply stop at banishing me forever, when He could also dangle some hope in front of me to snatch it away just as I was starting to believe it was within my grasp?"

"I'm sure that wasn't what-"

"She told me she loved me, you know. Mere moments before I lost her forever."

"Oh, Luci..."

"I was wounded, trying to hold onto consciousness and I didn't even respond properly."

"Maybe not in that moment. But you never left her in any doubt about how you felt about her."

"I suspect she wouldn't have agreed with that. And isn't doing the right thing _in the right moment_ the part that counts? I couldn't move when it happened, so I couldn't even be next to her to offer her some comfort."

"I'm sure she understood that."

"It doesn't matter if she did, does it?" He spat before going silent for a moment. When he spoke again, his voice was hoarse, barely above whisper. "I feared she wouldn't be able ever to accept me fully. I thought this would be our last case and that it would help to offer some closure. Having her profess her feelings only to be lost to me forever wasn't how I wanted to find it."

"I know it's not what you had in mind, but maybe you could still have some semblance of closure. You could go to the hospital, be able to say goodbye."

Lucifer chuckled humourlessly. "We both know that she is no longer there. Just as we both know that I have no access to where she is now."

"Still, her family will be there. So will Linda. It might be easier not to be alone in grief. And does it matter where you offer her your farewells? I wish there was something else I could do to-"

"There is, actually." For the first time since his arrival, Lucifer looked his brother straight in the eye. "Could you check on her for me? Just to make sure she is all right?"

"You know that they all are, once they reach the Silver City. And wouldn't this just make it harder for you, that I would see her when you no longer can?"

Lucifer looked away. "I doubt _anything_ can make this harder for me at his point. Please, brother. If anything, it could put my mind at ease."

He felt Amenadiel's hand on his arm. "I wasn't denying your request, Luci. Just making sure it was what you wanted. But do consider going to the hospital. If only to keep Linda company while I'm gone. She is taking it hard too."

It felt vaguely like an excuse, but Lucifer found himself nodding all the same. Drowning the overwhelming sense of loss was getting him nowhere and there was always a chance Linda would have an idea how he could ease this pain.

III

It was strange.

Chloe felt pretty sure that whatever the peculiar sensation was, it was supposed to be calming. It was the oddest thing: something between a feeling and a sound that she could register without properly knowing which senses she was engaging in the process. It was permeating the place like some ambient energy, trying to force itself on her.

So far, all it was doing was dulling the only clear sensation that she was sure was completely _her own_ that she could hold on to. Even if the sensation was painful, at least it was _hers_. Besides, how could this _thing_ \- whatever it was - be expected to eradicate an emotion running as deep as it did? That would be simply impossible and now she was profusely grateful for it.

She wasn't alone. She could tell this much from the moment she appeared here. It could be that someone even tried to get closer, offering their support. She was having none of it.

There was only one person whose company she longed for at the moment, and she was painfully aware they were beyond her reach.

That much, at least she understood. She might not have been able to say exactly where she was or how the place worked, but she knew enough to know _what_ it was. She remembered the last moments before she appeared here - again she had to use conscious effort to chase away the sensation that was trying to dull the memory of her painful death - and thanks to her partner, she had her eyes opened to the reality of this place (and its direct opposite) existing.

Even thinking about her partner brought another bout of anguish that made her wrap her arms around herself. The background sensation surrounding her intensified, urging her to let go and give in to the serene calm it offered. She fought it with all she had, refusing to let it chip away the feelings and memories that were now all she had left.

In all the honesty, she felt like crying but wasn't even sure if the strange energy of the place would permit that.

"Chloe?"

She opened the eyes that she never realised she closed as she identified the voice. The angel stood there, his wings on full display, dressed in a strange way. But at least he was a familiar face right now.

"Amenadiel," she whispered, moving quickly to him as he offered her a slightly stiff embrace. He seemed uneasy about something. "What are you doing here? How did you find me?"

He smiled but she couldn't help but think there was some sorrow to his expression.

"Finding you wasn't as difficult as you might think. You've caused something of a sensation as a human stubbornly insisting on being unhappy here."

"Can you blame me? You know what being here means for me."

"I do. Which brings me to your first question. He asked me to check on you."

She couldn't help a bitter chuckle just as she discovered that it _was,_ indeed, possible to cry here.

"Of course he did. How is he?"

"Grieving, as you'd expect. Taking it out on anything and anyone that gives him the slightest excuse. As you could likely also expect."

"I can't believe I'll never see him again," she managed, before taking advantage of the angel's embrace to bury her face in his chest as sobs shook her body.

"He would probably be able to find some comfort in the knowledge that you found your happiness here," he offered.

"Then tell him I did."

"I would rather not lie about it."

"And I would rather not be forever away from him. We don't all get what we want, do we?"

"Chloe, you don't need to feel that way. Being in the Silver City is a reward. If you just allow yourself to feel it, it will bring you peace."

"I'll pass. I'd rather hold onto the clarity of my memories, thank you."

"Doing that will only make you suffer. I promise, you won't forget, it will just be easier without the pain associated with your separation."

"That pain is there because of the feelings associated with it. If that is my choice, I'd rather suffer." She paused. "Hey, I don't suppose charging at an armed assailant could count as a suicide? That's a mortal sin, right?"

Now Amenadiel appeared truly horrified.

"You can't mean that."

"Compared to the choices you offered, it starts to seem like a reasonable third option."

" _He_ wouldn't want that for you."

"At least he would get to tell me that in person." Her voice broke. "There were so many things we didn't get to say to each other."

"He told me you did manage to tell him you loved him."

"I still do. No matter how much this place is trying to mess with my head."

"That's not what it does."

"Oh, really?" She snapped. "In the first moment, before I realised what was happening, I felt sad about leaving Trixie so soon. Then before I knew it, I was overwhelmed with the feeling that it doesn't matter because I'll see her again soon enough."

"And you will. You'll see."

"Don't you dare give me that. At least that little trick is a bit harder to pull when there is nothing to placate me with. I _know_ I won't see him again."

"Then why do you insist on holding onto that?"

"Because it's the only thing I have left! Don't you dare try to take that away from me." Chloe glared at him.

"I won't. I'm sorry, Chloe. I genuinely want you to be happy here, that's all."

"That's a rather tall order right now."

"It would make Lucifer feel better, knowing that you are. He knew this was coming, if not now then in a few decades."

There was a snort to their side and Chloe looked up to see another angel, a petite one, almost dwarfed by the size of her own wings. Interestingly enough, even though she couldn't place her, Chloe couldn't help the feeling that she had seen her somewhere before.

"Not exactly subtle there, brother," she announced, rolling her eyes before turning to Chloe. "Hi! I just dropped by to check on you."

The detective blinked. "Have we met?"

"Technically, yeah, briefly. But it's Ella who asked me to see how you were doing."

This was getting stranger by the minute.

"You know Ella?"

"Sure. Though she _might_ not strictly know what I am."

"Then she asked you to check on me why exactly?"

"I didn't say she thought I was a human."

That stirred some long-forgotten memory. "Wait. She mentioned that ghost she was seeing-"

"Ray-Ray? That's me. Though most people call me Azrael. You know, as in the angel of death? Horribly depressing and impossible working hours - can you blame me for wanting a friend like Ella to get away from that?"

"Honestly? Not really."

"Exactly. _Anyway_ , she wanted me to see how you were doing. She was really bummed that she didn't manage to save you, you know. Kept your heart beating until the ambulance got there and all, even if it was already too late. And since you're asking, Lu is taking this pretty hard too."

"So I've heard." Chloe glanced at Amenadiel. "I wish there was something I could do. I already miss him so much."

"He misses you too, Chloe."

"I know it's silly but I just wish I had the chance to speak to him one last time."

Amenadiel rubbed her shoulders.

"You know that's impossible, Chloe."

" _Wellll_ , technically..." Azrael cut in, suddenly. "You _do_ hear rumours about there being angels who have brought souls back, don't you, _Amenadiel_?"

"It wasn't from the Silver City."

"Same difference. And, I suppose, seeing how her body is still kept alive, I could not quite remember if I brought her here or not."

"You can't be suggesting-"

Chloe didn't let him finish, a sliver of hope suddenly appearing within her grasp.

"You could do that?"

"If I do, there is no guarantee you'd be able to get back in here. Think of what you'd be risking, Chloe."

"Oh, yeah, because I was enjoying myself so much until you got here."

"Such things shouldn't be done," Amenadiel said stubbornly.

"Do keep in mind who I've been working with for the past couple of years."

"It could end badly for all involved."

"I'm willing to take the risk if you are."

III

As could be expected, following Amenadiel's advice proved to be an awful idea. Linda's presence had done absolutely nothing to help, mostly because she was upset herself on top of being currently hormonal and trying to help the detective's weeping offspring. To make things worse, Ella Lopez apparently decided she was in need of some comforting company and was currently clinging to him as they sat on uncomfortable plastic chairs on the hospital corridor.

From what Lucifer understood, with a patient's body hooked up to the machinery they needed to wait a few hours before confirming the patient was actually dead, even if it seemed at that point rather obvious for everyone. So even though, after the bullets were removed, her body kept going only artificially, they had to wait.

Finally, he decided he couldn't stand this any longer.

"Miss Lopez, if you'd excuse me for a moment," he spoke, trying to manoeuvre himself away. "I'm sure your company would be appreciated-" he broke off, swearing, as his elbow hit a metal frame, pain shooting in his arm as he hit a nerve.

He stilled, disbelieving. Then he stood up suddenly and strode purposefully into the room where the detective's body was placed.

It was impossible, of course, but just in case...

He got to her bedside just as her eyes fluttered open and the machinery in the room erupted into a cacophony.

He stared, not quite able to comprehend what he was seeing.

"Chloe?" he whispered, making her focus on him.

"Lucifer-" she managed before grimacing in pain. "Ow, I guess they don't waste painkillers on you when you're technically dead anyway."

"I'm sure they will rectify that in a second. But how-"

"It turned out she wasn't as happy as I suspected, Luci."

Hearing his brother's voice to the side he reluctantly looked away from the detective for a moment.

"Amenadiel, I could never-"

"Don't even acknowledge it, brother."

Chloe grasped his hand, making him look back to her.

"Speaking of, should anyone start asking questions, we're blaming you. Just so you know."

"If that is the price for having you here for even a moment longer, I'll gladly take it."

Just then the hospital personnel rushed into the room, effectively ending the conversation. Still, Lucifer didn't allow them to force his hand away from the detective's. He still needed some reassurance that she had been returned to him.

The sheer enormity of her voluntarily leaving the eternal bliss of the Silver City to return to him was overwhelming in a way that took his breath away. The very thought of never seeing her again, when he thought her gone from him forever had been agonising but to learn from his brother that she suffered from this separation as well, despite being offered Heaven, acutely enough to agree to come back to him, humbled him.

To think just a day ago he was expecting a proof of her ability to accept him. Now he didn't even know if there was a way to describe how he treasured her, if only to be able to give her a proper response to that confession of love she offered, before she had been taken away from him so abruptly.

But the words could wait. Even if it was stolen, it appeared they still had time.

The End


End file.
